Once More With Feeling
by Annie-marie6
Summary: Fem-Harry has been Voldemort before but now she's woken up in an all new reality where he's only just resurrected himself. Complete with parents, and a sibling that's the supposed boy-who-lived read as Catalina Potter lives through the war yet again, once more with feeling! - Yes the summary sounds cheesy even to me but be kind and give it a go. please? pout.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. No horcruxes, fem-harry and AU literally.**

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Chapter 1

They avoided me now, I didn't know how to handle what was going on. Voldemort had resurrected himself, I had a brother who was the supposed _boy_-who-lived and after the week of me upping and disappearing every time they tried to talk to me about what happened with Voldemort they'd stopped trying. They being my parents.

Yeah, my name is Catalina Rose Potter and after fighting and defeating Voldemort I was suddenly and unexplainably dumped into another reality to live it all over again. I was surrounded by dead people, I thought with a shudder and here we go again.

"I think I hate me," I said definitively as I pieced together my other self's life. I sounded shy, bland, cowardly and barely there at all. My grades had been atrocious and I had no friends because I had been socially inept. My parents had obviously tried to love us both but my brother Eric, smug, arrogant little prick he was, still was the favourite and with the personality exhibited by other me I wasn't surprised. Enough was enough. I couldn't in my own head refer to them as mum and dad for some reason, probably because my mum and dad had died for me and they weren't them.

The juvenile posters lining my wall were ripped unceremoniously off, my childish sheets with moving wizarding cartoons were tossed on the floor, books, figurines, games and all other manor of childish rubbish was packed into boxes and cleared away.

"Catalina, what are you doing?" Lily demanded as she saw my bare room and the money sitting on my bed. I wanted to say growing up, instead I said.

"Distracting myself and redecorating," I said shrugging. Her face softened and she tossed me a card.

"Stay close to the house," she said letting me leave the house. I pulled on a coat and made my way to the mall. I got myself a new wardrobe, combat clothes as well as sexy ones, casual and formal. Shoes and boots joined the list. Make-up was shoved into a bag and I picked up paint and silk sheets. The thrift shop had some beautiful antiques and crystal figurines that seemed beautiful and exotic.

When I got home I managed a customary not hungry before pulling my room apart and everything away from the wall. The rose coloured walls were covered in a bluish grey and the ceiling looked like a galaxy swirl. It took a week but I needed the time to think. I barely spoke to anyone that came and Sirius had taken to curling up on my bed in dog form.

When the walls dried I pushed all the furniture back, made the bed with the silver silk sheets and put up my figurines, an entire wall was free for me to use as a planning wall. I showered and dressed in a pair of blue skinny jeans, a tank top, eyeliner lined my eyes and I fishtailed my long inky black hair down my right shoulder.

"Catalina Rose Potter, what are you wearing?" James yelled when he caught sight of me.

"Clothes," I said in a deadpan voice picking up the prophet. More sly little comments designed to make me uncomfortable, "The man running our country is a moron," I sighed.

"Since when have you cared much for politics?" Eric sneered. I just looked at him to say you cannot possibly be that stupid. If I was going to get people's act together I was going to have to wait until Hogwarts, because that was where it started last time. In the shadows that the hallways created.

"Kids, there's something that I want to talk to you about, you know that we moved back to London for a reason right?" Lily asked gently.

"You're moving the order in here," I finished, "You really weren't that discrete when you were talking about it." I added the last part when they looked at me suspiciously. It was strange to watch things from this perspective, I thought to myself. Was this how it had been done in my old dimension except to me?

Eric syndrome, I decided to call it. The fact that I was the one to meet Voldemort didn't matter, they saw Eric and suddenly the world revolved around him. He was the boy-who-lived. I wanted to laugh, they could think and wish that all they wanted, I know I did, but I still had the scar.

"It's not fair, I want to know what's going on," Eric whined that night at dinner, "I deserve to because he's going to be after me now he's back." If he hadn't milked being the boy-who-lived at every chance he got I might have felt sympathetic. As it stood I didn't.

"They're not going to tell you," I said irritated, "If you want to know so bad figure it out yourself."

"Shut up," he snapped, "Even if they did tell me there's no reason for them to tell you."

"Yes, I saw the snake-faced bastard return and yet your well thought out argument is completely logical," I said drolly, "How silly of me." I was chastised for my language but I didn't care.

"And don't you forget it," he said smugly and while all of his little friends, that used to be my friends in another world ranged from surprised at his stupidity (Hermione) and nodding along with what he was saying (everyone else).

"That's enough, bed all of you," Mrs Weasley snapped before they could begin arguing about hearing more information.

"Not you Catalina," James said as the rest filled out of the kitchen. I waited before they were all out of the room before I spoke.

"Please tell me that you dropped Eric on his head as a baby?" I asked seriously, making tiny giggles being drawn from the less mature, before they silenced on the serious matter that we were about to discuss.

"That's the first time that you've brought it up since it happened," Lily pointed out softly.

"It's not a great memory," I said flatly, "So are you really surprised by the fact that I'm not chatty Kathy about it?"

"We still expected… something," James said finally, "Just anything… you can talk to us you know."

"Why? You won't talk to me," I returned before turning to leave them gobsmacked, "Goodnight."

"You're going to figure it out for yourself," Moody grunted, hazarding a guess.

"Well I have got all the pieces, unless you're going to save me the trouble," I answered candidly. They looked at me in surprise and something clicked in James.

"Let hear it," he said in a funny voice. I turned the seat around and sat so in could lean my arms on the chair while still face forward. Alright, I thought why the hell not? The eavesdroppers at the door might learn something important.

"Ok," I said calmly, "The dork lord was talking about recruiting all kinds of dark creatures, giant's, werewolves', dementor's, excreta, excreta. At a guess Hagrid's taken off to talk to the giants with Madam Maxine, I could probably figure out the rest but moving on."

"How do you know this?" Tonks asked in a quiet voice, eyeing me strangely.

"I was traumatised not deaf," I retorted, "You lot have been on about guard duty for weeks, something to do with the Department of Mysteries. There's a lot down there, but whatever it is we can't get it. If we could take it we wouldn't standing guard. On the flip side it looks like it's something they can't take either. If I really wanted to know I'd need a field trip and I have a feeling that'd end badly for everyone."

"You're nowhere near done are you?" Lily asked in a dazed voice, her face slightly paling.

"Nope. There are a few of you that work at the ministry, you're not saying that you believe his back because they'll sack you," I continued, "However if you run around like ignorant sheep that believe everything the prophet tells them then you'll be able to get intel that could be invaluable. A changed law, an overheard conversations. Bad guys go where the power is, and the politicians have the power."

"So you believe that shutting up is the right course of action?" James said furiously.

"I believe that you pick who does the rallying, because sometimes lifesaving information is just office gossip," I said after a moment, "Dumbledore is screaming the truth at the top of his lungs but the world is too scared to believe it. So they'll ignore it until someone with the power to do something about it sees Mouldy-shorts with their own eyes."

"Where are all these nicknames coming from?" Sirius said with faint amusement clouding his eyes, "And is there anything else you want to share with the class Miss Potter?"

"Yeah, find someone to fill the defence post before the ministry does or us students, are all screwed," I said blandly. They looked confused and started protesting.

"Why?" Kingsley asked curiously. I blew out a sigh and watched Mrs Weasley fume silently out of the corner of my eye. Oh well, there wasn't much she could do about it.

"Do I have to do all your thinking for you?" I asked him raising an eyebrow, "You're all clever boys and girls, figure it out."

"If you were of age I'd ask you to join," Moody said gruffly.

"If I were of age I'd say no," I returned. They squawked indignantly. "You want to know why?" I asked in a soft voice when they'd quieted down, "Let me give you a for instance. You're fighting multiple Death Eaters, ones got the first half of the killing curse on his lips and you have a clean shot, do you stun them or do you cast a severing charm and take their wand arm?"

"Stun," majority of them protested. I shook my head.

"Another Death Eater has snuck around while you're fighting someone else and revives them, your now fighting three Death Eaters by yourself, congratulations your now finger-paint coating a wall," I said in a toneless voice.

"I have back up," Tonks said trying to find a way out.

"They've disappeared into the fight and oh no, they've just killed someone you care about," I replied swiftly. She swallowed with a determined look.

"There alone," she countered.

"You've just sent them to prison and in a world where you're lucky enough to have this happen all the time Azkaban is now full of Death Eaters and he-who-must-not-be-gnomed has decided to launch a prison break," I said back, "Not only getting back every Death Eater you put there but those still loyal to him from the last go around."

"And if you severed there arm?" she asked in defeat.

"There in debilitating pain, should they work through that they won't have an arm to cast with," I said, "Even if they use their other hand there aim will be bad and that gives you the advantage and life is extended to you and you back up all round."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked and there was soft lilt in his voice that hinted at something that had my parents looking nervous. I met his gaze evenly.

"As sure as I am that those upstairs are listening to our every word," I replied honestly, and really that had been the plan. "Now if you'll excuse me," I said over there loud protesting, "I think it's time for me to go to bed now."

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**I've read plenty of these types of stories when Harry or fem-Harry just shuts up and tries to blend. I figure given the right circumstances, like witnessing Voldemort's return would allow her some breathing room for change. What did you think? Review me. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is what happens when I read way too many HP Au's. Anyway this is a writing exercise so I can get on with writing Bloody Love, for those of you who like Vampire Diaries and Sailor Moon, go check it out.**

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Chapter 2

When I shut the kitchen door behind me it didn't take much to follow the flesh colour string and look up to the landing where they stood huddled, frightened and confused looking, staring down at me with some kind of unrecognisable aura. For half a moment I was taken back to the summer before fifth year when that was us, standing on the decrepit landing that was number 12. I shook myself out of it, we were so naïve.

They were so full of emotions and turbulence that when I walked straight past them they didn't say anything. Merely followed me into the upstairs sitting room. They took seats on the couches and I found myself leaning against the fireplace waiting for the inevitable barrage of questions that were about to come my way.

"You sounded like you knew," Eric hissed finally, "How could you possibly know?"

"Because I saw it, and I paid attention," I said in a constrained voice.

"Once doesn't cut it," Ginny protested childishly and it pained me to see the woman I had known reduced to this level of stupidity.

"That doesn't matter," George said, "What matters is that we were listening."

"And you knew we were listening," his twin pitched in.

"And you didn't call us out even though you told us to figure it out for ourselves," he finished.

"He doesn't care about his followers, he doesn't care about who gets in his way. He's insane, powerful and dangerous," I said pointblank, "Get smart or get scarce." I poured myself a glass of firewhiskey even though I had never been overly fond of the stuff and took a drink.

"That's dads," Eric said protesting loudly.

"And you're not going to say a word about it," I cut him off, "Why, because you want me to keep talking and if I have to put this down I'm leaving." He stilled, as if assessing whether or not I was serious about it or not before nodding in defeat.

"You're grades are atrocious," Hermione said speaking up for the first time, something that had shocked me to tell the truth, "You can't do the spell in class and you're brutality unlucky in potions. Yet somehow you walk around as if you have the skill to fight Death Eaters."

"Did you ever think that maybe I just didn't want to deal with Eric's tantrum if I ever did better than him at anything?" I asked, Eric screwed his face up and prepared to scream up a storm. "You're proving my point already," I said honestly. His mouth closed with a snap.

"But why would you flunk your grades like that on someone else's expectations," Hermione said horrified. I took another deep drink.

"For the same reason that they do," I said indicating to the twins, "Because it's expected and because you can retake your O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's at the ministry whenever you like."

"Then if you know how to fight so well, and you're so smart then teach us," Ron said passionately, some thing's it seemed never changed. I inhaled sharply. There was a thought, but then I refused to teach thoughtless children so that could let themselves get slaughter for glory and fame.

"No," I said firmly.

"I'm sorry," Eric demanded, "We may not get along but we're family and you have knowledge that could help us beat Voldemort." If he's said saved lives I would have, but they still need to learn.

"Then give me a reason, not fame and not glory. One reason, just a little ones enough and I'll do it," I said, all you have to do is mean it."

"And if we didn't really?" Neville asked.

"I wouldn't do a damn thing," I said truthfully, "Because you'd still die anyway."

"Even me, I'm your brother and I know we don't get along but could you really do that," he said angrily. I wanted to punch him in the face and knock some sense into him, but I didn't. I merely swallowed the remaining half a glass of firewhiskey and enjoyed the burn.

"Even you, but you're right you are my brother so I'm going to give you some advice," I said refilling my glass, "A first year levitation spell can kill as easy as the killing curse if you use it properly." With that I left the stunned assembly and went to bed. I glanced down at the full glass in my hand and realised something with a jolt. Two glasses of whiskey were not going to be enough. That night I dreamed.

_Ginny was hanging by her insides, swaying methodically. Blood making that horrible splatting noise as it hit the floor. Panic set in. Then it changed to somewhere else._

"_You killed a little girl," Hermione screamed at the red head._

"_She was going to suffer in agony for the rest of her life, I did what had to be done and I had mercy on her," she hissed back, "And you know that." The dead six year old muggleborn lay on the floor twisted on her side, she must have suffer so bad. _

"_Gin, Mione," I said standing in between the two furious women and using my personal nicknames for them, "We need to leave." Hermione flounced off and Gin stood by my side. "She just hate's the circumstances," I said softly as we followed._

"_I know," she replied. It flickered back to her body again. Slow and far away something wasn't quite right, but I couldn't unfreeze myself long enough to take my eyes off her._

"_You shouldn't," I started, sitting in the middle of out makeshift base in the forbidden forest, Gin cut me off. _

"_Drink, smoke and fuck my way through the little time left in this hell we call life?" she asked rhetorically. I tugged the bottle out of her hands and slugged back a mouthful._

"_I was going to say hog the vodka," I laughed, it sounded brittle though and she joined in. Then I was back at the house where we found her body. Splat, before noise burst through my ears. A litany of dark curses, screaming, the spray of blood and chunks of flesh, warmth coating my face as flashes of light and blurred images fought the darkness. Then it was gone._

_I opened my eyes again and Ginny was swinging from the roof. There was no noise and my stomach swirled violently. I could feel myself gasp but I couldn't hear it. Her dulled brown eyes mad ice settle in my veins._

"_Gin," I whispered raggedly, almost jumping when I could hear it. Then slowly I turn to Luna who was standing next to me. Her eyes were wide and her face was deadly pale, mouth hanging slightly open. Then the sound kicked in and all I could hear was her devastated high pitched scream._

I lurched upwards in bed, icy cold and terror gelling in my blood. I shook and my breath came out in ragged pants, as I leant over until my forehead touched the silk comforter. I had to get out of here, I thought shakily. I threw some clothes and make-up (to cover the shadows under my eyes and my scar) on and slipped downstairs and out the door.

I was having nightmares about another reality while strangers walked around wearing my friend's faces. I found myself in a tattoo parlour that was somehow still open at four in the morning. The man behind the desk, werewolf my numbed brain supplied me, asked what I wanted.

"I need to get inked," I said in an odd voice. My hand sketched what I wanted roughly on a piece of paper and he copied it on to my back. Soon there was nothing but a burning sensation and the buzz have the machine in the background. A glass of double black vodka – thank god, in my hand.

"All done love," he said in rough voice, wolfish smile directed at me. I needed something, something to remind me that nothing was impossible.

"Thank you," I murmured, gazing at the artistry on my back. The night sky, with clouds and stars. Three children, a pixie and the original lost boy sitting on the minute hand of Big Ben and in the distance two dermal piercings that shone like diamonds or stars, my mind supplied.

"I quite like the design idea," he said as I fished for the card my mother gave me, "Second,"

"Star to the right and straight on till morning," I said along with him.

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**I have no idea where Peter Pan came from but I like it. Review me and tell me what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: So here's yet another chapter. I feel the urge to keep writing but it is officially morning time and it's time for all kiddywinks, physically and mentally, to be in bed. Also, heads up, beware the snark.**

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Chapter 3

He didn't let me pay and the idea of a werewolf not hard up for cash was surprising enough to say the least but it gave me money to spend on other things, now that the sun had come up. It was barely seven o'clock in the morning but still businesses were open.

It didn't matter which way you span it, to win this war we needed money. It was the ugly truth. Money that I no longer had access to now that my parents were alive. Another fact, but I was grateful that I wasn't dead. It still didn't change the fact that now I had to do something completely game changing that I hadn't even resorted to in my last life.

Gringott's informed me that I was the magical heir to the Lady Morgana, time to see if that was still true. I made my way through the entrance hall and requested an heirs test. They pricked my finger and sure enough, among all my other lineage, there it was.

"Would you like us to fetch the ring, Miss Potter?" the goblin that I was sure I'd seen die somewhere before (and really that wasn't saying much I'd seen most people die somewhere before) asked.

"Yes please," I said politely. The ring was dainty and sliver, covered in amethysts and black diamonds. When I slipped it on, I almost fell over from the sheer magical backlash. My vision blurred and the ice that had been residing in my veins was burned out with black flames. I took a deep gasp that sounded somehow musical and finally the feeling passed. I could still feel the magic throbbing from within me but it wasn't overwhelming anymore.

"Lady Le Fay," the goblin said kneeling. A hand flew to cover my mouth as I looked at him in shock.

"You don't have to do that, if you could stand up please?" I asked as politely as I could. They nodded in surprise and stood. The folder they handed me had the contents of an obscenely rich person's vault that had been collecting interest for over a thousand years or so. Not to mention whatever artefacts or books that were in there and property that I was in the middle of organising.

"I'll need a bank card hooked up to the vault immediately and I'd like to check what else is in there if I may," I asked softly.

"Of course, and if I may, Lady Le Fay," Bloodbringer asked, "You might want to check your appearance before you return home." There was a glass mirror to the side of the office that I made my way to.

"My name is Catalina, you don't have to worry with all the Lady Le Fay stuff," I told him before I stopped in shock. I had physically changed, not enough that I couldn't pass it off on puberty but enough for me to know I shouldn't have looked like this even if I did grow up. My hair was somehow so much darker than it was, falling to my hips in loose curls. My skin was whiter and seemed to look like fresh milk, and my eyes were brighter. I didn't think that was possible.

I traced my waist that curved in at an almost obscene angle. I was still short but my legs were longer. I was firmer, toner but not at all skinny, I realised turning to the side. I had an ass, it sat there sort of… up and happy, my brain supplied deliriously. I looked at my chest. Where did my C, closer to B cups go?

"My ancestor's magical inheritance gave me a boob job," I said in a dazed voice. Bloodbringer looked like her was trying to restrain laughter, which of course set me off. "You can laugh, it's ridiculous," I said and we… a witch and a goblin both laughed ourselves stupid. The purebloods would have an aneurism.

The trip to my vault cancelled because I had to get back and sneak into my room before anyone noticed I was missing but I promised to come back tomorrow or even later tonight. I stood in the shower of my adjoining bathroom at home and washed my longer and stronger hair.

I put it up in a bun and put on a pair of black stretchy yoga pants that I bought the other day, a tank top that wouldn't aggravate my tattoo and a jacket to cover it. I spent two days waiting for the others to say something but they spent most of the time having some sort of fierce internal debate.

As for the grown-ups, for all that I was in my mid-twenties in the other world they were a group I was not part of, studied me like a curious bug. It didn't bother me, it was easy to sneak out of the house, and they all just assumed that I was in my room.

I spent most of the time buying things. I went through my shiny new vault and found amazing book on magic, grimoires from witches living in the Camelot era. I stocked up on weapons and potion's ingredients, not to mention a slew of muggle stationary. I also stocked up on medical supplies, clothes that fit me and enough alcohol to down a dragon.

In my room I flittered the books on to my bookshelf, the secret room behind my walk in closet was converted into a potion's lab/med-bay/stash spot. The first time I did magic, since I got here anyway I almost killed myself and my wand exploded.

"Mother fucker," I whispered in a harsh voice. With shaking hands I thought what the hell, why not give it a go and tried to repair things wandlessly. "Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me," I said in disbelief as the room, not just the mess I was trying to clean but everything righted itself like on a Disney cartoon. "Oh I am so, so screwed," I panted as the heady tingly feeling of pure power rushed through my veins.

As afterthought I conjured a blank wand, which was really a wooden stick and started warding my room. When I was done I had better wards then the ministry. Go take care of your potions, I told myself as I shook with something that felt quite similar, though not as good as, the afterglow of sex. Magical boob job and almost orgasmic magic, I think my ancestor is trying to tell me something.

I'd been cooking up all types of potions. Burn pastes, fever-reducers, blood replenisher's, veritiserum, skele-grow, pain reducers, dreamless sleep, the magical version of wake-aid and one to combat the effects of the cruciatius.

Later that night Snape stumbled in looking terrible. Cruciatius curse, I realised bounding upstairs. I handed him two vials and told him to drink it.

"And where did you get these?" he asked fighting the tremor in his voice. Poor bastard must have been under a while then, he usually wouldn't show how bad it is. We're both kind of stubborn like that.

"I made them, turns out that potions is a lot like cooking and it turns out that when not restraining myself against the onslaught of distain and snark I can manage just fine," I said easily before turning serious, "It also helps when there's nobody throwing random crap in your cauldron."

"I doubt I should drink it then," he sneered, "It'll probably kill me, and on the non-existent chance that there fit to be consumed by a human the surprise alone would end me."

"Well now I really want you to drink it," I returned, "You know you're sort of a cross between a dementor and a depressed transvestite, soul sucking yet snarkingly sassy. Now use your potion master skills to figure out there fine and drink the damn things because if I find you on our kitchen floor in cruciatius induced tremors and I have to detour between waking and coffee I'm going to be pissed."

"And if I chose not to drink them?" he asked as silkily as his hoarse voice allowed.

"You're loss," I said shrugging and walking away getting to the door before stopping, "Pain reliever first, wait five minutes and then take the anti-cruciatius."

"Why, none of the ingredients catalyst?" he asked unstoppering the pain potion.

"I gave you the extra strong one, makes your toes and fingertips feel and tingly and theirs three drops of belladonna in the anti-cruciatius which will make you sick if you don't let the pain reliever absorb first," I rattled off, "You might want to stay here for the night, because you should be out like a light soon."

"You hate me Potter," he said tossing back the pain reliever, "Why the hell would you give this stuff to me."

"Yep, but the cruciatius is a bitch, and while I am also a bitch you forget I've also experience the joys of the trigger happy dark bastard myself," I said shrugging, "Not a happy feeling and if we don't get you all into tip top shape who's going to traumatise the poor firsties? Sadly they think you're the creepiest thing they've ever seen."

"Oh?" he said raising an eyebrow as if to say, _and I'm not_.

"I'm sorry to say you lose out by a nose," I said cheerfully before pausing, "Literally… Snakeface has no nose. Anyway goodnight."

"Potter before I forget," Snape said sleepily, the potion already starting to affect him, "Detention." James and Sirius start to protest vehemently but I just shake my head.

"Sure thing honeybunch," I said leaving, the sweet sound of liquid being sprayed in my wake.

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**Is good, right? Honestly I have no idea what I'm doing so reviewing is good. Even criticism if it's constructive. **_**Tell me I'm pretty mommy, tell me I'm pretty please! **_**Lol, see what you guys have reduced me to. No sleep.**


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